don't ever want to go back

i have never sunk this low before. never have i felt the way i did. in the 22 years of my life, i have never felt the way i did yesterday. i don't ever want to go back. it's frightening. it's amazing what one can do when in despair. now i'm beginning to understand why people take their own lives. no one can help me but myself. i need to stand up again. i just hope it's sooner rather than later.