the ultimate sadness

mom called. had a really long talk with her. found out that my dad... well,... he's suffering from high blood pressure! all along, i thought he was fine. he eats healthy, exercises, drink lots of water, vegetarian and my mom's cooking is almost oil free. so really... why the hell would he get high blood pressure?!!!!! i cant accept it! why?! why of all people, my father!!! my heart broke when i heard the news. people with high blood pressure is a magnet of many illnesses. i've only been away for 7 months. 7 months!!! .... and so much has happened since then that i don't know about. sigh... the things that my parents put themselves through for me and my brother... my mom hasn't been sleeping for days now cuz she's worried about my dad being overly generous towards my brother and i. i know.. my dad just wants what is best for us. he's afraid that we would encounter hardships in the future. sigh... well, i really want him to know that we're both grown ups now. we can take care of ourselves. we didnt go so far away to study only to return with nothing. we know how to take care of ourselves. even if we do encounter hardships... isnt that all a part of growing up? isnt that all a part of life? well... saying is easier than doing, rite? but the thing is, he can not protect us forever. we will evetually have to come out and face the cruel reality of life. my dad... he has done so much for us.... but what have we done for him? NOTHING!!!! it's really upsetting. what i know is, now... all i can do is work hard to achieve my goals. make them proud. and when i come out to work in the future, i will take good care of them. its the only thing i can do to repay them for their kindness, for their unconditional love. sure, we've got our ups and downs. the times that i wanted to run away from home, the times that they themselves wanted to kick me out of the house... but hell, we're family. we love each other and i think that's the most important.... is that we all love each other. sigh... how i wish i could be by my parents' side in situations like these. after all, when something goes wrong, all we've got is each other.... all we've got left is family. who else is there to turn to? for all the times that they've been there for me... sigh... how i wish i could be there for them now. right this instant. i really hope my dad gets well. he's not fat... no... he doesnt eat unhealthy food all the time... but why?! high blood pressure. sigh... i'll do some extensive research about this tomorrow. i want to make sure i know every bit of detail about this... this.... high blood pressure thing. sigh... and above all, i hope my mom gets some rest. she needs it. they're getting old.... i'm scared... and worried about them. sigh... i think i'd better get to bed myself. i've got class tomorrow. pls pls pls pls pls let everything be ok..... please....