boo hoo hoo

i'm still well and alive. my bad for not blogging for quite some time. have been busy... busy with uni, the house and everything else. the house.... the house!! lovely place.... if only the tenants would work together with me to keep it clean. men, i realized are just plain dirty! so i have to do most of the cleaning by myself. fine and dandy. the thing that pisses me off is that the times when i actually get someone to clean the house, they put it off. put it off long enough and they won't have to do it because i'll be the one who is doing it. how clever. clap. clap. but then again, i can bear with that. the other day, i came home from uni, exhausted like how i always am with uni, and what do i see in the sink? a pile of unwashed dishes all stacked up nicely waiting for someone, or rather me, to clean them up. ooooooookay. i can bear with that. then as i bent down to tie the rubbish, i notice a yellow spot on the floor. what's that? spilled egg!!!! the fuck. someone made that mess and well, decided to leave it there to rot and grow maggots or something?! that pushed me over the edge. needless to say, i broke down. seriously thinking of moving out. i just can not live in filth! oh, and before that, i found out that someone oh so conviniently left the gas on after cooking. the whole house was stinking with gas and thank my lucky stars that the house didn't blow up! that was just stupid! stupid! stupid!!!!!! i don't know how much longer i can hold out. they're not the only ones that are tired. i too am tired. i too need to go to uni. i too have my own life to lead but do they care? nope. well, not until i loose my temper but after a few days, things just goes back to the way it was. how nice of them. sigh. to top it off, uni ain't going so great either. i'm starting to doubt myself. wondering if i made the right choice to do chiropractic. i go into a lecture, have no fucking clue as to what the lecturers are talking about. i go into prac class, have no fucking idea what muscles are where and i do shit at palpitating for whatever it is that i'm supposed to look for and cutting up cadavers is just plain scary... to the point where i'm getting paranoid. like now. when i'm all alone in the house. i think of things. reflect on what i did to the cadaver or rather, what i didn't do to it and i feel.... scared. i just can't think of these.... cadavers as a specimen. not that i'm not trying to change my point of view but well.... it's not that easy. sigh.... easter holiday is coming up next week. can't wait. much needed break for me. awang, how you doing? miss you tons! anyways, hope things are smoothing out for you.