9/12/2004

decision

hubby presented me with a question concerning my post the previous day. he asked me if i still wanted him to look out for me. looking out for me meant that there would be no excessive drinking, no drinking when he's not around, no fagging, no fooling around and whatever not. if i said no, he would leave me alone, meaning that i can finally enjoy life as a 19 year old and not care about anything else other than have fun. if i said yes, then i'd be saying goodbye to my freedom, freedom to do things that i so choose. but to my surprise, my answer was yes and i meant it from the bottom of my heart. saying this, i realize that i do not have the freedom to do a lot of things... i guess its ok. as long as he's still there, caring for me, looking out for me, loving me. i guess its a little price that i have to pay for being with him. but its ok...