getting too close for my own good. i need to stop, pick myself up again. but it gets easier. with each time i fall, it gets easier. the emotions aren't as full on anymore. but i'll miss every moment we spent, the good and the bad. going back home is what i need. hopefully by the time i come back i'll have sorted my life out. a mess is what i am at the moment. so weak. i'm so weak. 9 days and counting before i go back.