very un-me

i don't feel like myself these days. i've been spending a lot of time alone... more than i can remember. its a record for me. these days, i just wana spend time alone, chill out in my room and watch movies off my laptop else study. i dont crave going out or spend time with people anymore. as a matter of fact, i dont even talk all that much anymore. i used to be full of energy, jumping up and down, left and right, i used to crave human contact, play around and just be plain silly... but now... i'm not complaining. i'm pretty much comfortable with the way i am. it just suddenly hit me how much i've changed in just a couple of months. its scary. i guess maybe its the fact that i still feel homesick despite being away from home for so many months. i feel sad, nostalgic... its like the life in me is slowly diminishing with each day that i spend away from home. dont give me the crap saying how i need to be more independent and what shit. i'm pretty sure i am independent, i can do things on my own, or at least i'm trying to. well, this place just isnt home. i've settled down and everything but its still not home. there is no sense of belonging here. even the friends that i've made sometimes dont really seem to be my friends at all. sometimes, i feel that we're all just putting up one big facade, pretending to like each other cuz the fact is, we're all alone out here, in this foreign city. forgive me, but its the way i feel at times. well, maybe i should just be thankful for what i've got. after all, these friends that i have are wonderful people. sure, there's that occasional misunderstanding but in the end, we always forgive and forget. maybe its just me lacking that sense of security or whatever else. in any case, i hope i snap out of it soon. i dont wana end up friendless in the end.